People are too scared to step out of their boxes. It’s the way they’re scared to be seen. So they have a façade. It’s sometimes a part of who they actually are. Sometimes is not who they are at all. Rather who they would like to be or who they want people to think they are and often they end up despising themselves. People aren’t strong when they hide from themselves. There’s the fear to be different or thought of badly. But you will end up thinking of yourself badly if you do this. Others are too afraid to mingle. They want to stay where they are. At the top so even if they hate where they are they will continue to say nothing. There are the lucky few who are accepted for who they are and people like that. It’s never fair when crazy is the new thing. Or nerdy. Or weird. Suddenly everyone loves what you love. Dresses how you used to dress. And it’s not them. But they love it. They love what was you but you aren’t anymore because they despised you the way you were. Now you’re different and the bad kind. Once again it’s the same. The social hierarchy is often a flawed one. I’ve never been popular and I’m not complaining. I didn’t have 20 friends in a big circle. I had 5. Four out of that five are still close friends. I might lose one more but I will always be friends with those three. James will know my kids. So will Matilda and possibly Christian. The friends I’m making now in high school will be there forever. Elly and Lyndon primarily are the two guaranteed to be there forever. We’re weird, definitely and we don’t always have to worry about being judged. Sure there are those who will but they’re not interested. They have better things to do than concern themselves with us uncool, weirdos. In primary school it was worse. They didn’t talk to us and they openly laughed at us. They made fun of James and he was pushed over on purpose more that once and punched in the face just because he was a “faggot” in their opinion. Where in fact he is one the nicest, kind-hearted people I have ever met. If people can just give up on holding social expectations and make friends with people that are different schools would be more enjoyable and the it'd make group projects easier.
GIRLS AND BOYS
A lot of girls don’t realise that the right guy can make the perfect…best friend. They’re too afraid to mingle in case they and the boy will be accidentally mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend. Get over it. It’s not a big deal. Why does it matter if you know the truth and he does too? People will get over it and you can learn a lot from boys and vice versa. They can learn a lot from you. Boys have no idea what they are missing. The stereotypical gay bestie isn’t there for no reason. They can relate to girls in one more way and that pushes them over the edge. Boys can learn maturity, self control, a different kind of humour that is not sex related, how to learn properly and they can actually ask how to talk to girls and if you’re good enough friends she won’t make fun of you. There's no reason why a boy should shy away from a girl. We certainly don't bite. Furthermore girls can learn things from boys. How to let loose every now and again, sports, humour that isn't based around blondes and girl related subjects, how to be competitive (not that many girls need that), how to fix things themselves and how to be more free spirited as a lot of 14 year old boys are. Most of the girls in my class are quite uptight and drama is painful. Nobody wants to make friends with people who don't want to make friends with them. You have the friends outside of class but in class there is suddenly a barrier. It makes group work harder and more awkward because when the teacher says "mix it up, at least one boy in a girl group" everyone panics. Whereas I'm being told to join a different group of boys or go sit with the girls. Boys' humour is refreshing at times and I can see why some of the girls I know don't want to put up with it but if you can you've found a really good friend.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
What do you do when you do when you love someone and you want that to last forever but you've felt this before and you believed it would? Truly believed. And it all fell to pieces. How you try to believe that again? Even when you know the chances of what will happen, how long it will stay the same. How do you open yourself up to something like that? What do you do?
Boy have I had a bad time with my writing. I've had to update my journal from the past two months. Not a good idea especially when you consider the events of those two months. When you're friends with someone who has bigger, worse problems than you in puts your life in perspective and suddenly it's never going to be about you anymore. It's about them. They have the worse deal.You got the better handout. And it doesn't matter what you have in your life that's bad. Your deals are minimal. You find yourself wishing you could trade places. Wishing you could do anything to help. And you forget about your life, your worries, your responsibilities. It sucks you in and takes something from you but in the best way possible.